Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Being "me".

Today I was thinking about being "me". I noticed that sometimes I feel more like "me" than other times. It's stupid but I'm sad to admit that sometimes I don't feel like I'm being myself very much. Sometimes being around certain people or certain places at certain times can just take me out of my element and comfort zone and put me in a situation where I am just forcing a personality that isn't quite "me".
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing ever? How could I ever be less me? I'm the only person I've ever been. I've never been anybody but Brad Lee Rhees. I don't know. I can't explain it. But this morning I was teaching an early morning seminary class and at some point, I'm not sure when it happened, but I just noticed how comfortable I felt. How confident I was in what I was doing and how I felt- to put it in words I've heard my dad use: "comfortable in my own skin".
I'm not necessarily saying that I thought that the lesson was amazing or that I think I'm an awesome teacher. Hopefully that is a byproduct of what I am describing, though. I definitely think that good lessons and good teaching come from being comfortable and confident in the class room, but I fully admit I have a long way to go with my teaching skills.
Anyways, I just felt like me! I don't know how else to say it, but it felt good. It got me thinking about other times and situations I feel like me... or more like me anyways. The big one that I thought of right off the bat was at EFY.

I don't know what it is about EFY (the polo's maybe?) that makes me so "comfortable in my own skin"... but I just am. Teaching and spending time around high school-aged kids talking about the gospel and just talking about life feels so natural to me. I feel like I just get to forget about me and focus on helping others understand and learn and feel better about themselves. That could be the key. But I kinda wonder if there's something more to it than that. As seen above I'm obviously not afraid to be a dork at EFY. The picture above is me posing as the lesser-known nevertheless extremely powerful superhero QualMan from the TV show Doug. I had no fear walking around, hanging out with these kids... with a cape on. This isn't exactly something I feel comfortable doing in the "outside" world. Honestly, though, I wish I was. I'm getting there, though. I guess the the most important thing is just not worrying how I appear or sound and just focus on building others up. That's what I'm going to do.

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